LLCoolBray

While recovering from surgery, I’ve gone down the rabbit hole of Will & Grace, one of my most favorite TV shows of all time. I didn’t realize it was on Hulu, and I haven’t really stopped watching it since January because this is the longest recovery of all time and I’ve spent three months on the couch I love it so much. I mean, Karen Walker is basically a national treasure, amirite? Karen Walker aside, something I did not expect to fill my heart and mind while watching Will & Grace is the memory of Marion. You see, when I was in high school I used to go to Marion’s house everyday before cheerleading practice at 4:00 and, in that one-hour of time, I always watched Will & Grace. Sometimes Marion was home, sometimes she wasn’t, but her house was always open to me.   Marion's house. Insert wistful sigh here.    Marion’s house was Easter Bunny sightings on Easter Eve, Saturdays after the Holiday Parade, pizza, movies, and Garfield books. Her house was a carpe...

I am truly overwhelmed at the outpouring of love received since my last post. In fact, I’m convinced all that out-poured love was full of healing powers because I am officially leaps and bounds beyond where I was two weeks ago!    If you’re just tuning in, my last few posts were basically sad pity-parties that I held for myself in the form of a blog. I was disappointed that my healing process was stunted and I was unable to do anything to feel better. So many loved ones reached out to help me shake off the dust and pull me up from my sad hole of depression (I’m looking at you, Karen Clark!).  It is amazing what a few weeks and a few doctor’s appointments (and new HAIR) can do for the spirit! Last Tuesday I was cleared to begin light activity and I started going for walks and doing more activity around the house. I was super pumped for my first walk; put on my workout clothes and my running shoes, got my airpods going, and made it a grand total of ⅔ mile. Honestly, that’...

So, after my giant pity-party the other day, it looks like I may be (finally!) on the mend! My CT results showed nothing remarkable, which was both relieving and frustrating. Even my doctor voiced her frustration that there was nothing fixable (and hearing her say that made my neurotic self feel so much better). My physical exam, on the other hand, showed nothing remarkable and that was a major victory ! My doctor was excited to see how much better my internal stitches looked, no swelling or other signs of infection, and NO ACTIVE BLEEDING. She said she is cautiously optimistic that I'm back on track in my recovery! Of course, I have no chill and immediately started asking about activity levels and such, so she sat down with me and a calendar and we walked through the different physical activities I can start doing each week throughout March and April. Have I mentioned that she's the best and I love her? The only catch is that I need to have no bleeding for the next five days t...

I’ve been pretty quiet for the past week because I am struggling. Struggling with a multitude of heavy feelings exacerbated by what is probably the longest recovery in the history of the world (I tend to exaggerate when I’m feeling the feelings). It seems silly to be struggling at home on the couch with no responsibilities, since that was what I had initially looked forward to about this medical leave; COVID school year had me beyond burned out. I was doing okay as my recovery progressed and I felt a little better everyday but the original, small setback from a few weeks ago has turned into an ongoing setback and I’m finding myself feeling more depressed as time goes by.  The original infection is gone, but I’m still having unexplained bleeding and pain. I shouldn’t have any bleeding at this point in my recovery, and I’ve had multiple exams and tests done that simply can’t explain what is happening. I’m still on “couch rest” until they can figure out where all of this is coming fro...