LLCoolBray

Remember that one time I went to Stanford and had a super-complicated surgery? It’s hard to believe that was already ONE WHOLE YEAR ago. I am happy to report that, while I still have deep internal healing happening, I am basically 100% recovered and feeling so much better! Healing isn’t linear and there have been numerous setbacks in the past year, so I haven’t always been able to keep track of my healing like I thought I would. Sometimes I don’t even realize the progress I’ve made until I look back on previous weeks and months and it dawns on me how differently I feel. For example, I had my COVID booster shot on Friday, so this weekend I’ve been laying low with body aches and the weird “aching skin” thing. It’s a familiar feeling for me because I spent years of my life battling constant internal inflammation that left me with body aches and aching skin (except I didn’t know that any of that was happening inside my body, so I would just randomly, and frequently, feel like I had the flu...

Peace: freedom from disturbance; tranquility. Tranquility: the quality or state of being calm. I love the final week of December. The historian in me loves looking back to analyze the different causes and effects of the year. Normally, I am full of goals and hopes for the next year, but these past two years have shifted my perspective. I am not pessimistic or disillusioned, as so many are after the trials of 2020 and 2021 - trust me, I’ve had my moments - but I am finding clarity amidst the (is it just me, or does it seem to be increasing?) chaos.  My only goal for 2021 was to survive. I remember talking to my husband at the end of 2020 and telling him I couldn’t imagine setting any goals for myself because everything seemed too hopeless and hard. In the span of three weeks, my brother had nearly died in an accident, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and I was facing life-altering surgery with a substantial physical and emotional recovery. Daily life felt insurmountable. What shou...