Setbacks

 There is nothing more frustrating than setbacks. Let me tell you, going backward in recovery is not fun when you are an impatient, antsy person who hates disappointment (I am lacking in some virtues). I was finally feeling good; no soreness, no need for OTC painkillers, etc. I was even able to go for walks and do some light stretching! But now? Now I am back on the couch with no activity for a week. 

A few days ago, out of the blue, I started bleeding heavily and experiencing a lot of pain that pain relievers weren’t helping. I haven’t had much bleeding since my surgery, so that was a bit alarming. I’d also been pain-free for about a week, too, so I knew something was going on. I called the on-call physician in Medford (note: not my actual doctor) who assured me it was probably normal post-hysterectomy bleeding because I was only 5 weeks post-op and clearly not hemorrhaging, despite my claims that I hadn’t bled this much the day after surgery and I was in a lot of pain. I didn’t like her response and called my doctors at Stanford, who agreed that it was abnormal and definitely concerning, but not an emergency (whew!). Since I already had an appointment on the books in Medford for the next day, I could wait 24 hours to see what was up.

It turns out I have an infection around one of my internal incisions (I’ll spare you the details) (but it includes ruptured hematomas) (okay, no more details). I’m starting antibiotics and back on the couch per doctor’s orders, which didn’t require much convincing since I’m sore and exhausted all over again. Ladies, if you’re curious about the process with which they diagnose infections around internal incisions, just imagine the worst pelvic exam of your life, add a liiiiiiiittle bit more discomfort, a dash more of pain, and you’ll be good. 

It. Was. Awful. 

I can laugh about it now, but my body kind of went into shock. I got extremely woozy, cold, saw stars, and felt like I was going to throw up. My wonderful doctor was quick to keep me from falling off the exam table and went into what I fondly call “toddler care” mode. Within 30 seconds the lights were off, I had a cold washcloth on my face, a juice box in my hand, and a trash can next to my face. Thankfully, I didn’t need the trash can. After she diagnosed the infection, my doctor ordered blood work to make sure everything else looks like it should. I am proud to say I did NOT need the grown-up high chair for the blood draw, but that’s probably because the phlebotomist came to me while I still had my juice box. 

This infection set my recovery back by a few weeks, which has me feeling mixed emotions this evening. On the one hand, THANK GOD because I really don’t think I’m healed enough to go back in a few weeks, but on the other hand NOOOOO because I really miss my students and colleagues. I'm also turning into a bit of a socially-starved chronic-oversharer.

I was scheduled to return to work on March 15th and now I’ll be returning to my classroom in April. I know my body needs the extra recovery time and it will only help me be a better teacher, but I’m still sad that I will miss another month with my students. Here’s hoping these antibiotics kick in soon so I can get back to my regularly-scheduled healing!